How do we achieve happiness?

written by JOSH GESSNER | The Learning Engine

Today at a Glance:

• The Harvard Study of Adult Development

• What makes us happy?

• Social Fitness

We don't know what makes us happy.

Here's 3 findings from the longest running study on happiness.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development:

1) The study included many ultra-successful individuals.

• Doctors

• Businessmen

• President of USA (Kennedy)

But success wasn't the biggest predictor for happiness and health:

Strong relationships were.

The point:

Relationships lead to more happiness and health than:

• Fame

• Money

• Status

The people most satisfied with their relationships at 50, are the healthiest at 80.

This is crazy to me.

It's so easy to neglect our relationships in the chase of success:

Especially when careers start to flourish, in the late 40s and early 50s.

But doing so can undermine our happiness... and health.

2) Loneliness kills.

Loneliness can be just as dangerous as:

Smoking 15 cigarettes a day! [img:vid-Y0xmrkAZA]

The study compared the negative impacts of:

• Smoking

• Alcoholism

• Loneliness

What they found?

Loneliness was just as dangerous on overall health.

“Loneliness kills. It’s as powerful as smoking or alcoholism.”

3) Quality over Quantity

The study found:

A few, deep bonds were more impactful than many shallow relationships.

“Who could you call in the middle of the night if you were sick? We believe that everybody needs at least one or two people like that” [img:vid-sgqVqNb65]

As an introvert, this is a relief.

This makes me think about the importance of:

• Nurturing our existing relationships

• Rather than seeking new ones

How do they suggest to nurture our relationships?

Social Fitness

Just as you wouldn't go to the gym 1-2 times and expect good physical fitness:

The same applies to relationships.

"Good relationships wither away from neglect. We find that the people who maintain vibrant social networks are the people who make an effort."

It doesn't have to be time consuming:

• Text

• Coffee

• Phone Call

Done regularly, will keep up our social fitness.

I think the wrong message from this study is to lose our drive for success.

That'd be impossible for people who are ambitious.

I know it is for me.

But keeping up our social fitness doesn't have to take time:

We can do it while striving for our goals.

Main Lesson:

Nurture existing relationships by showing effort, because in the end:

You wish you would have.

The Harvard study on Adult Development made me think about my life.

I hope it sparks you to think about yours.

Thanks for reading!