A concept that changed my life...

written by JOSH GESSNER | The Curious Competitor

A concept that changed my life...

The Spotlight Effect:

You're out at a public or social event.

For some reason, you feel like everyone's staring at you. Judging you.

Like there's a spotlight shining on you and your actions.

This is the Spotlight Effect.

The spotlight effect is when we overestimate how much people notice our actions or appearance.

Basically, caring too much about what others think.

This causes a big issue:

Thinking too much about what others think can lead to:

• Social anxiety

• Underperforming

• Less enjoyment and risk taking

I can relate to this:

In Professional Baseball I'm constantly being evaluated.

• Scouts

• Coaches

• Spectators and fans

It’s easy to get caught up in what others think about me.

This was the cause of me getting a case of the throwing yips:

I was scared of:

1) Embarrassing myself in front of everyone.

2) Disappointing the people who trusted me.

I experienced the Spotlight Effect to its fullest extent.

The Spotlight Effect originated from a study conducted in 2000.

A student was asked to wear an embarrassing shirt to class, and estimate how many peers would notice it.

The student estimated over 50%.

Only 10% noticed.

The main takeaway?

We naturally think that everyone notices what we do and how we look.

In reality:

Most don't care, and will quickly forget about it.

Lets' get into some actionable solutions: ⬇️

3 ways to Dim the Spotlight (care less):

1) Know the facts

2) Be Interested

3) “F*ck It”

1) Know the facts.

Understand that others don’t care about you as much as they care about themselves.

Even if they do notice you, they quickly forget about it.

When you feel the spotlight, remind yourself of this fact.

2): Be Interested, not interesting.

Give up the urge to impress.

Instead, become interested in others.

Get to know the people around you:

They may not to be the judgy critic you thought they were.

3) Deconstruct your fears

When we care too much, it’s because we're scared of something.

Confront these fears. The worse case scenario.

Usually - it isn't that bad.

"We suffer more in imagination than in reality.”- Seneca.

Sometimes we just need to say “F*ck It”.

Fighting against the spotlight effect is a grueling, lifelong journey.

When you feel yourself caring too much, try one of the steps above.

Main Lesson:

People don't care about you, because they're too worried about themselves.